← Back to blog

What Is the Five Wishes Document and How Do I Use It?

By CRYSTAL BAI •

What Is the Five Wishes Document and How Do I Use It?

The short answer: Five Wishes is a user-friendly advance directive document that covers not only medical decisions but also personal, emotional, and spiritual wishes for end-of-life care. Unlike standard living will forms that focus narrowly on treatment decisions, Five Wishes asks five comprehensive questions about how you want to be treated if you become seriously ill. It is legally valid in 47 states and is the most widely used advance directive in the US.

The Five Wishes

Five Wishes was created by Jim Towey, founder of Aging with Dignity, and has been distributed to over 42 million people. It guides users through five questions:

  1. Wish 1 — The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't: Names your healthcare agent (healthcare proxy/medical power of attorney)
  2. Wish 2 — The kind of medical treatment I want or don't want: Life support wishes — ventilator, CPR, tube feeding, dialysis — in specific scenarios (terminal illness, permanent unconsciousness, etc.)
  3. Wish 3 — How comfortable I want to be: Pain management, personal care preferences, what helps you feel comfortable
  4. Wish 4 — How I want people to treat me: Dying at home vs. hospital, who can visit, music you want playing, hands held, privacy preferences
  5. Wish 5 — What I want my loved ones to know: What you want said, forgiveness expressed, how you want to be remembered, spiritual or religious wishes

Why Five Wishes Goes Beyond a Standard Living Will

A standard living will covers Wish 2 — medical treatment decisions. Five Wishes covers Wishes 3, 4, and 5 as well: the personal, emotional, and relational dimensions of dying. These are often what matter most to people — being kept comfortable, having their favorite music playing, having their pet in the room, making sure people know they are forgiven and loved. Standard legal forms miss all of this.

Is Five Wishes Legally Valid?

Five Wishes is legally valid in 47 states (all states except Indiana, Kansas, New Hampshire, Ohio, and Texas require state-specific forms — though Five Wishes can still be used as a guide in those states). It requires two witnesses (not related to you and not your healthcare agent) and, in some states, notarization. Check the specific requirements for your state at agingwithdignity.org.

How to Get Five Wishes

Five Wishes can be downloaded or ordered from Aging with Dignity (agingwithdignity.org) for $5. Many hospice organizations, hospitals, and senior centers distribute it for free. It is available in 30 languages. Completing it takes about 30–60 minutes. Once complete, share copies with your doctor, hospital, healthcare proxy, and trusted family members.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Five Wishes document?

Five Wishes is a user-friendly advance directive that covers medical treatment decisions, personal comfort preferences, how you want to be treated, and what you want loved ones to know. It is legally valid in 47 states and is the most widely used advance directive in the US.

Is Five Wishes legally valid?

Five Wishes is legally valid in 47 states. Indiana, Kansas, New Hampshire, Ohio, and Texas require state-specific forms instead. Even in those states, Five Wishes is useful as a personal document and a guide for conversations. Requirements vary — check agingwithdignity.org for your state.

How is Five Wishes different from a standard living will?

A standard living will covers medical treatment decisions only. Five Wishes also covers comfort preferences, how you want to be treated personally (music, visitors, touch), and what you want loved ones to know emotionally and spiritually — dimensions that standard forms miss entirely.

How much does Five Wishes cost?

Five Wishes is available for $5 at agingwithdignity.org. Many hospice organizations, hospitals, and senior centers distribute it for free. It is available in 30 languages.

Can I complete Five Wishes on my own?

Yes. Five Wishes is designed to be completed without a lawyer, though a lawyer can review it. You need two witnesses (not healthcare providers, family members, or your healthcare agent) and in some states, notarization. Share copies with your doctor, healthcare proxy, and hospital.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life professionals. Find support near you.