What Is an Obituary and How Do You Write One?

The short answer: An obituary is a published notice of someone's death that includes biographical information, a summary of their life, names of survivors, and service details. It's both a practical announcement and a tribute — the first draft of how a person will be remembered publicly. Most obituaries run in local newspapers or online memorial platforms and are written by the family or funeral home.

What an Obituary Typically Includes

• Full name (and nickname if used)
• Date and place of birth, date and place of death
• Age at death
• Cause of death (optional — many families omit this)
• Brief life story — where they grew up, education, career, passions, accomplishments
• Survivors — spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings (listed by name; deceased relatives are noted as "predeceased by")
• Service details — date, time, location of funeral, memorial, or celebration of life
• Memorial donations — in lieu of flowers, if applicable
• A personal touch — a favorite quote, phrase, or detail that captures who they were

How to Write an Obituary

Step 1: Gather the facts. Full name, dates, surviving family members, career highlights, service info.

Step 2: Write a lead sentence that captures something essential about the person — not just "John Smith, age 82, died on Tuesday." Try: "John Smith, the retired railroad engineer who spent 40 years restoring antique steam locomotives and could name every great-grandchild's favorite color, died on Tuesday."

Step 3: Write the life story — birth and hometown, education, career, marriage, family, passions, community involvement. Keep it 200–500 words for standard newspaper publication.

Step 4: List survivors in traditional order: spouse, children (with spouses), grandchildren (number or names), siblings. Predeceased: "He was preceded in death by his parents and his sister, Mary."

Step 5: Include service details and any donation preferences.

Step 6: End with something personal — a favorite saying, what they loved most, or how they'd want to be remembered.

Where to Publish an Obituary

Local newspapers (print and online editions) are the traditional venue. Online platforms like Legacy.com, Obituaries.com, and funeral home websites reach a broader audience. Social media obituaries shared by family can reach the person's full network. Some families write a long personal obituary for friends and family alongside a shorter official newspaper version.

Who Writes the Obituary

Typically the family writes the first draft and works with the funeral home to finalize. A death doula or advance care planning specialist can help gather a person's life story in advance — before a crisis — as part of legacy work.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?

Standard newspaper obituaries run 150–300 words. Online and extended obituaries can be much longer — 500–1,500 words. There are no rules; the right length is whatever does the person justice.

Do you have to mention cause of death in an obituary?

No. Cause of death is optional. Many families choose not to include it. Others include it to reduce confusion, reduce stigma (especially for suicide or overdose deaths), or to direct donations to relevant causes.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary?

Newspaper obituaries can cost $200–$1,000+ depending on the publication, length, and whether a photo is included. Online memorial platforms like Legacy.com often offer free or low-cost options. Funeral home websites typically include obituary posting as part of their service package.

Can I write my own obituary in advance?

Yes — this is called an advance obituary or autobiographical obituary. Many people find it a meaningful exercise. Your death doula or end-of-life planner can facilitate an oral history interview and help you draft it.

What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

A death notice is a simple announcement of the fact of death — name, dates, service info — typically a few sentences. An obituary is a fuller narrative of the person's life. Newspapers may charge more for a full obituary than a death notice.

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