What is an ethical will and how do you write one?
By CRYSTAL BAI •
The short answer: An ethical will is a personal document that passes on your values, beliefs, life lessons, and hopes to your loved ones — not your financial assets. Unlike a legal will, it has no official form and carries no legal weight. It is a gift of meaning, written in your own words, meant to be read after you are gone.
Ethical will vs. legal will: the key difference
| Legal Will | Ethical Will |
|---|---|
| Distributes property and assets | Shares values, stories, and wisdom |
| Requires witnesses and signatures | No legal requirements |
| Written with an attorney | Written by you, in your own voice |
| Read at probate | Read whenever the family chooses |
What to include in an ethical will
- Your core values: What principles guided your decisions?
- Life lessons: What do you wish you had known at 25?
- Formative experiences: Moments that shaped who you became
- Gratitude: Who are you grateful to and why?
- Hopes and blessings: What do you wish for your children and grandchildren?
- Apologies: Is there anything you want to acknowledge or make right?
- Spiritual or religious beliefs: What do you believe about life, death, meaning?
How to write an ethical will: step by step
- Choose your format. A letter, a list, a video, an audio recording, or a combination
- Pick your audience. Write to your children, a specific person, or all who loved you
- Use prompts to start. "The most important thing I ever learned was..." or "What I hope you never forget..."
- Write a draft. Imperfect language is more meaningful than polished but distant words
- Review and revise. Update it as you age or as circumstances change
- Store it clearly. Tell your executor or trusted person where it is kept
Ethical will prompts to get started
- The moment I became the person I am was...
- The mistake I most learned from was...
- What I want you to know about our family's history is...
- The advice I wish I had followed sooner is...
- What I hope you carry from me is...
When should you write an ethical will?
There is no wrong time. Many people write their first ethical will at a life transition — a serious diagnosis, a major birthday, the birth of a grandchild. Others write them as part of advance care planning alongside their healthcare directive and legal will.