What Is a Death Cafe and How Do I Find One Near Me?
By CRYSTAL BAI •
The short answer: A Death Cafe is a free, informal group gathering where people meet — usually with tea and cake — to discuss death, dying, and related topics in a relaxed, non-judgmental setting. There is no agenda, no grief counseling, and no requirement to be dying. Anyone curious about death is welcome.
What Happens at a Death Cafe?
Death Cafes are intentionally unstructured. There is no set curriculum, therapy, or facilitated grief processing. Instead:
- Small groups (usually 4–15 people) gather in homes, community centers, libraries, or cafes
- Conversation flows naturally — people share fears, questions, experiences, and beliefs about death
- A host (not a therapist) facilitates the space to ensure everyone can speak
- Topics range from advance directives to what happens after death to bucket list items to the death of a pet
- There is usually food and tea (the tradition started in the UK with cake)
The History of Death Cafe
Death Cafe was founded by Jon Underwood and Sue Barsky Reid in London in 2011, inspired by sociologist Bernard Crettaz's "Café Mortel" events in Switzerland. Jon Underwood died in 2017, but the Death Cafe model has continued to spread globally as a social franchise — anyone can host one using the free guide at deathcafe.com. As of 2025, over 17,000 Death Cafes have been held in 80+ countries.
Who Goes to Death Cafes?
Death Cafes attract a wide range of people:
- People who have recently lost someone and want to process it openly
- Older adults doing advance planning
- Healthcare professionals (nurses, hospice workers, social workers)
- Death doulas and funeral professionals
- Curious people who simply want to break the taboo
- Writers, artists, and philosophers interested in mortality
- People with a terminal diagnosis who want community
How Death Cafes Differ From Grief Support Groups
| Death Cafe | Grief Support Group |
|---|---|
| Open to everyone | Usually for bereaved only |
| No agenda or curriculum | Structured sessions or facilitator-led |
| Not therapy | May involve therapeutic techniques |
| Free | Often free; sometimes fee-based |
| Social, casual setting | More formal setting |
How to Find a Death Cafe Near You
- Visit deathcafe.com and search by location
- Check Meetup.com for local Death Cafe groups
- Ask at your local hospice — many host or know of local Death Cafes
- Search Facebook for "[Your City] Death Cafe"
- Virtual Death Cafes are available globally — no travel required
How to Host a Death Cafe
The Death Cafe model is free to use. Anyone can host one. Requirements:
- A space that holds at least 4 people comfortably
- Tea and food (the tradition)
- A commitment to providing a safe, non-judgmental space
- No professional credentials required
- Register your event at deathcafe.com to be listed publicly