How Do You Write an Obituary? A Complete Guide with Examples

The short answer: An obituary is written by including the person's full name, dates of birth and death, survivors, a brief life story, memorial service details, and an optional charitable donation request—most obituaries run 200–500 words and are submitted to local newspapers and funeral home websites.

What Is an Obituary?

An obituary is a written announcement of a person's death that celebrates their life, informs the community, and provides memorial service details. Traditionally published in newspapers, obituaries today also appear on funeral home tribute pages, memorial websites, and social media.

Essential Elements of an Obituary

A complete obituary typically includes:

1. Full name: Include nickname in quotation marks if commonly used (e.g., "Margaret 'Peggy' Johnson")
2. Age at death
3. Date and place of death
4. Place of birth
5. Brief biography: Education, career, military service, accomplishments, passions
6. Survivors: Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings—with or without names based on family preference
7. Preceded in death by: Spouse, parents, siblings, children who predeceased them
8. Memorial service details: Date, time, location—or "services will be private"
9. Charitable contributions: Optional—"In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to..."

Sample Obituary Structure

[Name], [age], of [city], passed away [day, date] at [location]. Born on [date] in [city], [he/she/they] was the [son/daughter/child] of [parents' names].

[He/She/They] dedicated [his/her/their] career to [work/profession]. A passionate [hobby/interest], [name] was known for [personal quality]. [He/She/They] was a beloved member of [church/organization/community].

[Name] is survived by [spouse], [children and grandchildren], and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [parents, spouse, etc.].

A memorial service will be held [day, date, time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [charity name and address or website].

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

• Start with a vivid sentence: Lead with what made the person unique—not just the death announcement
• Use their voice: If you knew them well, write in a way that reflects their personality
• Include at least one specific story or memory: Even one concrete detail makes an obituary come alive
• Avoid clichés: "Passed away peacefully" and "will be deeply missed" can be skipped; show, don't tell
• Check facts: Dates, spellings of names, and surviving family details must be accurate
• Get family consensus: Who is and isn't listed as a survivor can be emotionally loaded—discuss in advance

How to Submit an Obituary

Newspapers: Most local papers charge per line or per word. Deadlines are typically 24–48 hours before publication. Major newspapers charge more; smaller community papers are less expensive.

Funeral home tribute page: Usually included in the funeral home's services; appears on their website and is shareable

Legacy.com and Tributes.com: Free and paid obituary posting with national reach

Social media: Sharing on Facebook, Instagram, or creating a dedicated memorial page is increasingly common

Costs of Publishing an Obituary

• Small local newspaper: $50–$200 depending on length
• Major metropolitan newspaper: $300–$1,000+ for full obituary
• Online memorial sites: Free to $200 for premium listings
• Funeral home tribute page: Usually included in funeral services

Pre-Writing Your Own Obituary

Many people choose to write their own obituary as part of end-of-life planning. This ensures accuracy, captures personal voice, and spares family members an emotionally demanding task while grieving. An end-of-life doula or funeral planner can help facilitate this process.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?

Most obituaries run 200–500 words; newspaper obituaries are often shorter (150–250 words) due to per-word costs, while funeral home tribute pages and online memorials can be longer.

Who writes the obituary when someone dies?

Typically an immediate family member writes the obituary, often with help from a funeral director. The family may ask a friend or professional writer to assist; some people pre-write their own.

What should you not include in an obituary?

Avoid including cause of death if sensitive, estranged family members who might cause conflict, overly private financial information, or details the deceased would have preferred private.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary?

Online obituaries on funeral home websites are usually included in services; newspaper obituaries range from $50–$200 in small papers to $300–$1,000+ in major metro publications.

Can you write an obituary before someone dies?

Yes—many people write their obituary as part of advance end-of-life planning; it ensures accuracy and captures the person's own voice while relieving family of a difficult task during bereavement.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate death doulas and AI-powered funeral planning tools. Try our free AI funeral planner or find a death doula near you.