How Do You Write an Obituary? A Step-by-Step Guide

The short answer: An obituary announces the death and celebrates a life — typically 150–600 words, including birth/death information, key biographical facts, survivors, and service details. Write from a place of love; capture the person's character, not just their resume.

What Is an Obituary?

An obituary serves two purposes: to announce a death to the community and to honor the life that was lived. Traditional obituaries run in newspapers; today they also appear on funeral home websites, legacy.com, social media, and dedicated online memorial platforms. There's no one-size-fits-all format — the best obituaries capture the unique person.

Essential Elements of an Obituary

Opening: Full name, age, date and place of death. Life story: Birth information, hometown, education, career, marriage, faith community, key life accomplishments. Personality and character: What they were known for, their passions, their sense of humor, what made them uniquely themselves. Survivors: Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings (standard list). Service information: Visitation, funeral, memorial details. Memorial donations: Preferred charities in lieu of flowers.

Making It Personal

The obituaries people remember are those that capture character, not just biography. Include a specific story, a signature phrase they used, what they were doing on their last good day, what they loved most. "She was a devoted mother" is generic; "She made birthday cakes from scratch for every grandchild, no exceptions" is unforgettable.

Practical Tips

Write a first draft while the death is fresh; edit when emotion is slightly less raw. Have at least two family members review for accuracy and missed details. Keep a copy for family records. Funeral homes can help place obituaries in local papers, but family-written obituaries are often richer and more personal than funeral-home-generated versions.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?

Most obituaries run 150–600 words. Newspaper obituaries are often shorter (150–300 words) due to per-word costs; online obituaries can be longer without cost constraints.

What should you include in an obituary?

Include name, age, dates and place of death, key biographical information, personality/character details, survivors, service information, and any memorial donation requests.

Can I write my own obituary in advance?

Yes, and many people do as part of advance planning. A pre-written obituary is a gift to your family, ensuring accuracy and capturing how you want to be remembered.

Can a death doula help write an obituary?

Yes. Many death doulas assist with legacy work including obituary writing, life reviews, and oral histories — helping families capture the full person rather than just biographical facts.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate death doulas and AI-powered funeral planning tools. Try our free AI funeral planner or find a death doula near you.