How Do I Choose a Funeral Home?
By CRYSTAL BAI •
The short answer: Choosing a funeral home is one of the most consequential decisions families make at the worst possible time — while grieving, on a deadline, and with limited information. The key steps are: compare at least three funeral homes, request itemized price lists (required by the FTC Funeral Rule), confirm they can meet your cultural or religious requirements, and check reviews. Never feel pressured to decide immediately.
Your Rights Under the FTC Funeral Rule
The FTC Funeral Rule (16 CFR Part 453) gives you the right to:
- Request an itemized price list of all services and merchandise over the phone — a funeral home must provide it
- Choose only the services you want (no forced package bundling, except required items like basic services fee)
- Use a casket purchased elsewhere without penalty — funeral homes cannot charge a "handling fee" for outside caskets under the Funeral Rule
- Receive a written price list before any contract is signed
Request the General Price List (GPL) from every funeral home you're considering. Compare line by line.
Key Questions to Ask Every Funeral Home
- What is your basic services fee? What does it include?
- What is the total estimated cost for the type of service we want?
- Do you have experience with our religious or cultural traditions?
- Are you locally owned or part of a corporate chain?
- Who will be handling our loved one's body?
- Can we have a home vigil or view before the funeral?
- What are your embalming policies? (Note: embalming is almost never legally required)
Corporate vs. Independently Owned Funeral Homes
Approximately 15% of funeral homes are owned by large corporations (Service Corporation International, Dignity Memorial, Carriage Services). Corporate homes often offer consistent standards but may feel impersonal. Independent homes may offer more flexibility and community connection. Price can vary significantly — neither corporate nor independent is automatically cheaper.
Green Burial and Alternative Disposition
If you're interested in green burial, aquamation, human composting, or home funeral, not all funeral homes offer these services. Check the Green Burial Council's directory (greenburialcouncil.org) for certified providers.
How a Death Doula Can Help
A death doula can accompany you to funeral home meetings, help you ask the right questions, review contracts before signing, and advocate for your choices. This is especially valuable when families feel overwhelmed by grief and funeral home pressure.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I negotiate with a funeral home?
Yes — prices are not fixed. You can decline optional services, ask for discounts, and shop around. Under the Funeral Rule, you have the right to itemized pricing and can mix and match services.
Do I have to use a funeral home at all?
Not necessarily. In most US states, a family can legally handle disposition without a funeral director (home funeral). Requirements vary by state. Check the Funeral Consumers Alliance for state-by-state guidance.
What is embalming and do I need it?
Embalming is the temporary preservation of a body using chemicals. It is almost never legally required. It may be required for transport across state lines by some carriers, or by some religious traditions (rare). Refrigeration is an alternative.
What does a funeral home average cost?
Funeral costs vary enormously by region and service type. A full traditional burial funeral averages $7,000–$12,000 nationally. Direct cremation (the lowest-cost option) averages $700–$3,000. Always get an itemized price list.
How do I know if a funeral home is reputable?
Check online reviews (Google, Yelp), state licensing board records, and the Better Business Bureau. Ask for references. Your state funeral regulatory board can confirm licensing and any disciplinary history.
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