Funeral Pre-Planning Guide: How to Plan Your Own Funeral in Advance

The short answer: Pre-planning your own funeral — documenting your wishes and ideally pre-paying for arrangements — is one of the most caring things you can do for your family. It removes the burden of decision-making during grief, ensures your wishes are honored, and can lock in today's prices against future increases. About 20% of Americans have pre-planned their funeral; 65% say they wish they had.

Why Pre-Planning Your Funeral Matters

When someone dies without documented funeral wishes, their family must make dozens of decisions — burial or cremation, casket selection, service format, music, readings, flowers, obituary — typically within 24–72 hours while in acute grief. Pre-planning removes this burden and gives you control over how you're remembered.

The Two Levels of Pre-Planning

Documentation Only (No Money Changes Hands)

At minimum, document your wishes in writing and share with your family and executor:

• Burial or cremation preference
• Green burial, home funeral, or conventional preferences
• Type of service (religious, secular, celebration of life, graveside only, no service)
• Preferred music, readings, or speakers
• Obituary preferences
• Organ and tissue donation preferences
• What to do with your remains (specific cemetery, scatter ashes, etc.)

Pre-Funded Arrangements (Pay in Advance)

A pre-funded funeral contract with a funeral home locks in today's prices and designates the specific services you want. Before pre-paying:

• Confirm funds will be held in a state-regulated funeral trust or insurance policy
• Ask whether the plan is portable if you move
• Get a detailed written contract specifying every service and cost
• Understand your cancellation and refund rights

Step-by-Step: What to Document

1. Disposition preference — burial (where), cremation (what to do with ashes), green burial, aquamation, human composting
2. Service preferences — type, location, religious or secular, who should officiate
3. Personal touches — music, readings, photos, specific requests
4. Obituary draft — write your own or leave notes for whoever will write it
5. Practical information — document location of will, life insurance, important accounts

Where to Store Pre-Planning Documents

Keep pre-planning documents where your family can find them quickly after your death: tell your executor where they are, keep a copy with your attorney, and consider a digital copy in a shared folder or service like Everplans. Do NOT keep them only in a safe deposit box — families often can't access these until after a death certificate is filed.

Talking to Your Family

Documenting your wishes without talking to your family is only half the job. Have the conversation — tell them what you want and where to find the paperwork. This conversation, while uncomfortable, is an act of deep care.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why should I pre-plan my funeral?

Pre-planning removes the burden of major decisions from your family during their grief, ensures your wishes are honored, and can lock in today's prices. Most people who haven't pre-planned say they wish they had.

Is it safe to pre-pay for a funeral?

Pre-paid funeral arrangements can be safe if funds are held in a state-regulated trust or insurance policy. Always ask whether the plan is portable, get a detailed written contract, and understand your cancellation rights before paying anything.

How do I start pre-planning my funeral?

Start with a simple written document stating your preferences: burial or cremation, type of service, music, readings, and what to do with your remains. Share it with your family and executor. You can then decide whether to also pre-pay with a specific funeral home.

What is the difference between pre-planning and pre-paying a funeral?

Pre-planning means documenting your wishes (no money involved). Pre-paying means funding those arrangements in advance with a funeral home. Both are valuable; pre-planning alone is far better than doing nothing, even if you choose not to pre-pay.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life professionals. Find support near you.