The Five Wishes Document: A Plain-Language Advance Directive That Actually Works

The short answer: Five Wishes is a plain-language advance directive that goes beyond medical decisions to cover personal, emotional, and spiritual wishes. It's legally valid in most US states and is widely considered the most human-centered advance directive available.

What Is Five Wishes?

Five Wishes is an advance directive document created by Aging with Dignity, a nonprofit based in Tallahassee, Florida. Unlike standard medical advance directive forms (which focus narrowly on medical treatments), Five Wishes addresses five dimensions of end-of-life care in plain language accessible to anyone.

The Five Wishes

1. The Person I Want to Make Care Decisions for Me — designates your healthcare agent/proxy
2. The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don't Want — your wishes on life-sustaining treatment, pain management, and other interventions
3. How Comfortable I Want to Be — pain management, comfort measures, what physical care you want
4. How I Want People to Treat Me — who you want present, how you want to be touched and spoken to, spiritual practices, what you want to hear
5. What I Want My Loved Ones to Know — forgiveness, gratitude, messages for specific people, wishes for memorial

Why Five Wishes Stands Out

Standard advance directives cover Wishes 1 and 2 — legal and medical. Five Wishes adds Wishes 3, 4, and 5 — the human dimensions that clinical forms ignore. It asks "How do you want to feel? Who do you want near you? What music do you want playing?" These are not trivial questions; they're the ones that most affect how death actually feels.

Legal Validity

Five Wishes meets the legal requirements for an advance directive in 47 US states (not Alabama, Indiana, or Texas, which have specific requirements). Aging with Dignity provides state-specific supplements for these states.

Cost and Access

Five Wishes is available at agingwithdignity.org for $5 per copy in print, or free digital download. Bulk copies are available for healthcare organizations. Many hospices and hospitals distribute Five Wishes to patients and families at no cost.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Five Wishes?

Five Wishes is a plain-language advance directive that addresses not just medical decisions but also personal comfort, emotional wishes, how you want to be treated, and what you want loved ones to know. It's legally valid in 47 states and is widely considered the most human-centered advance directive available.

Is Five Wishes legally valid?

Yes. Five Wishes meets the legal requirements for a valid advance directive in 47 US states. It is not valid as-is in Alabama, Indiana, or Texas — Aging with Dignity provides state-specific supplements for those states.

How is Five Wishes different from a regular advance directive?

Standard advance directives cover medical treatment decisions. Five Wishes goes further — addressing comfort measures, how you want to be physically cared for, who should be present, what music should play, and what you want your loved ones to know. It covers the full human experience of dying, not just the medical decisions.

How do I complete Five Wishes?

Download or purchase the document at agingwithdignity.org. Fill it out carefully — it takes about 30–45 minutes. Have it signed by two witnesses (per your state's requirements; not relatives or healthcare workers). Share copies with your healthcare proxy, physician, and keep one accessible.

How much does Five Wishes cost?

Five Wishes costs $5 per print copy at agingwithdignity.org, or is available as a free digital download. Many hospitals, hospices, and healthcare organizations distribute it at no cost. It's also available in Spanish and other languages.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life doulas, funeral planners, and grief support specialists. Find support near you.